Let me be a woman....

I'm reading this book right now by Elisabeth Elliot, "Let Me Be a Woman". It's a beautifully written work of encouragement from Elisabeth to her daughter before she gets married. I'm only about half way though it, but I wanted to sum up some thoughts in a few quotes.

"...the freedom of the sailboat to move so swiftly and beautifully is the result of obedience to laws. The builder of the boat had to know the proper ratio of beam to keel and mast. The one who sails the boat obeys the rules of sailing...She is doing the thing she was made for. she is free not by disobeying the rules but by obeying them...the crux of the questions of liberty and liberation. Does it mean casting off all restrictions? (Could a ship sail without them?) Does it mean doing what we feel like doing and not doing what we don't? It means discipline. It means doing the thing we were made for."

"We have something to respond to, something that directs and calls and holds us, and it is in obedience to the command that we will find our full freedom."

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived-not always looked forward to as though the "real" living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow."

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman...For the Christian woman, however, whether she is married or single, there is a the call to serve."

"You yourself will be given light in exchange for pouring yourself out for the hungry.; you yourself will get guidance, the satisfaction of your longings, and strength, when you "pour yourself out," when you make the satisfaction of somebody else's desire your own concern; you yourself will be a source of refreshment, a builder, a leader into healing and rest at a time when things around you seem to have crumbled."

"To accept limitation requires maturity...[the child] has to grow up to realize that saying 'yes' to happiness often means saying 'no' to yourself."

And that's all I've read so far:) I'm sure there will be many more quotable quotes as I continue reading. This book has been really challenging on my thoughts and encouraging as I continue to pursue righteousness! If you get a chance to read it, please do:).

Rainy Labor Day

Ah...If only we could have labor day weekends every weekend:). My weekend has been great! I spent a lot of time with my sister and we had some great time together!!! I came home from work on Friday to see that my sister had rearranged my room! It looks fabulous. We then went to a couple places, got some inspiration, and hit up Hobby Lobby:). We spent the rest of the weekend painting canvases, watching movies, and eating some gluten free food! So now my room looks like I live in it....and I have a comfortable haven to come home to at the end of the day with everything in it's place:)!

I am so thankful for this weekend of rest and refreshment. I love that's it's been rainy and cozy for the past two days! I got to have some great time on the couch with the two books I'm reading right now, "One Thousand Gifts" and "Let me be a Woman". Had some great time to do some journaling and praying! Ah...sigh...so good:). So, I feel refreshed and ready to start this next week.

Here are some pics of the newly rearranged room:)

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Back in the USA (this one's just a read)

Well....I'm back in the States now. I've actually been back for about a month and just haven't really known what to write on here. I'm not very artsy when it comes to photos and have gradually begun taking fewer and fewer pictures as the years go on...but I love words. I know people say that people don't really read the words on a blog...but words are all I have :).

I have to admit that as exciting as transitions can be, I don't like them. I guess no one does really. I love the excitement of a new place (or returning to an old place), rebuilding old friendships, starting new friendships, seeing new places, old places, being reminded of things I enjoy, finding new things to enjoy. However, the problem with the excitement of those discoveries is that it's all jumbled. It's like figuring everything out all over again.

So I guess in times like this I'm glad that there are a few things that always remain constant. My Family. As scattered as they are, and as insanely busy and they will always be...they will always be there. Whether on the other side of the world or in the same city...they're always there for me when I need them (even at times when I think I don't, they're there!).

My friends. I have a few friends in this world that I am connected to like Anne is connected to Diana...kindred spirits. I don't know what it is about that bond between some girls....but it's there. It's a bond that allows you to be totally open and honest about your life. You can lay your raw, bleeding heart on the table and they can put it right back where it goes :). They will laugh with you and cry with you and then make you laugh again! They help you remember the lessons learned from the bad and they get excited with you about all the good!

And the most important constant that there will ever be...Jesus. Even if I can't always "feel" him in the midst of crazy transitions, I KNOW he's there. He's here. He's always here. No matter how much I screw up. No matter how many mistakes I make. No matter how confused I get or how lost I feel. No matter if the sun is shining or the rain is pouring. No matter if I told him I love him today or not. He's here. He loves me. He tells me that every day. I think one of the keys to getting through a transition (for me at least) is to keep looking for those consistencies....for that specific one...to look every day for the kisses and love notes Jesus gives me at the most randomly perfect times in the most beautifully romantic ways :).

*Thank you for my kisses today, Jesus*

Last days in KZ....

My time at KIS has come to an end. The last two weeks of school were crazy and full between writing reports (that were 12 pages long...for each student), packing the classroom, packing myself, saying goodbyes, and making lasting memories :). It was very hard to leave. I know I couldn't have done it if I wasn't completely confident that God has called me back to the States. There were many tears shed as I said goodbye to my first year of teaching and all my friends there!

My students packing up our classroom!

The last day of school- WATER FIGHT!!!!

I had a full week of saying goodbyes. It started with a goodbye party the week before I left. Most of the teachers went out to dinner and go to spend some good time hanging out. Then some of us went to Il Patio on Wednesday night to share the afternoon and evening together. We sat there for hours on the balcony just talking and laughing!!! It was a fabulous memory to have made! Then on Friday, I went and got pedicures with Aunt Tammy, went home to finish packing, cooked dinner, people came and ate. Then we just hung out until I flew out that night. It was so special to have Mushtaq, Khalmurat and Aizhan take me to the airport! I cried as I said goodbye....and then I sobbed when I got on that plane (I know all the people on that airplane thought I was nuts!!!)

MY AIZHANCHICK!!!!!!

Aizhan was my closest friend while I was in Kazakhstan. I miss her already!

Oh Kalmurat! He seems to be a gentleman...but we know the truth. ;) Just kidding! He's a great guy!

Mushtaq! How I will miss your crazy jokes!

We spent the evening having dinner at Il Patio! Aya (in the middle) came and joined us towards the end.

Our little "group" took me too the airport to say goodbye (Mushtaq, Khalmurat and Aizhan). Unfortunately, Aliya (who was also part of that group) just had surgery and so she wasn't able to spend the last two weeks with us. But I was able to go visit her a few times to say goodbye.

Sad to be leaving....

My time at KIS has come to a close, but I know I will have those memories forever! It was a VERY MEMORABLE year :). From my class to my friends...I have made memories that will not soon be forgotten! Thank you, God, for blessing me through KIS this year!

7 WEEKS....

The countdown has started! I officially have 7 weeks left in Kazakhstan. 7 weeks from today I will be on my way back to the USA!!! I'm ready to be back.

This weekend KELT (Kimep English Language Theater) has been putting on 3 original performances. My roommate is the head director for KELT. They had held a play writing competition last year and the top three plays are being performed this weekend. The plays are about the changes in Kazakhstan in the last twenty years since the Soviet Union collapsed. They are all fabulous! It was a great honor and very exciting to be in the first audience to EVER see these plays....a big historical moment :)! WAY TO GO KELT!!!!!

The beginning of an end.....

It seems so much has happened since I last blogged.....so here it goes...

I have officially decided to move back to Birmingham, AL this summer. During my time in Thailand I was really praying about it, and felt that God was calling me to go back. So...without a job in place and not idea where I was going to live I told my administration that I would not be returning in the Fall. 4 days later, I had a job! A week after that I had a place to live! God is SO GOOD!!!!

So I will be flying back to the U.S. on June 18th. I will be teaching 2nd grade at Westminster Classical School in Birmingham, AL, and will be living in my parent's town house :)! I'm really excited about ALL OF THIS! It will be hard to leave everything here, my new friends, my family, my home...but I am completely confident that God is calling me back to Birmingham!

Meanwhile....as I'm still here...we've entered into the last term of this school year...however, we don't finish until June17th...so I still have a long way to go. But my kids are the middle of their Exhibition project, where they have to chose a real world issue to have an impact on. They have chosen helping those who are less fortunate, and so every week...4 times a week....we are going to an orphanage and we're hanging out with the kids there. My students have done some fundraising and we will be purchasing supplies for the orphanage. They are really enjoying this project, and they it's been neat to spend some time with these orphans!

This is Artur from the orphanage...he's a sweetie!

My kids had to give a presentation at our Annual School Fundraiser to raise money for their orphanage project, too.

SO.....if you can......Please pray that I will be able to finish well these last two months. Pray that I say "good-bye" well. Pray that God uses the rest of this time here to draw me even closer to Himself! He has already been doing so much in my heart and my life....very hard stuff....painful stuff...ugly stuff...but I know He loves me and wants me :)!

Psalm 51:8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.

Aizhan, Me and Rufina at the Fundraiser

Me and Aliya at the Fundraiser

It will be hard to say good-bye to these girls

Rainy Days and Mondays...

Well...after a lovely week in Thailand with some sunshine, lots of humidity, great food, cheap stuff, I am now back in Kazakhstan, with no sunshine, some humidity (since it's rained the past 3 days), nothing that appeals to my appetite, and very overpriced stuff :). AH, the joys. Although I wish my trip in Thailand could've lasted a little longer, I am thankful to be back and ready to start this last term of my first year of teaching :).

Michael and Me enjoying an "interesting" Thai meal :)

My wonderful Mom and Dad, aren't they cute???

Me and my mommy enjoying our pineapple garnish from our fresh fruit smoothies

There are so many things I wish I could write and send them out into the online oblivion, but I guess most of them are just not appropriate at the moment (not in a bad way, just in a timing way).

Some truths that I'm trying to cling to right now are from Psalms 139, "Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you." And holding fast to the truth that "if we are faithless, He remains faithful for He cannot deny Himself." So if you read this, and you have a moment, please pray for wisdom and clarity for me at the moment. Thanks!

Smiles from Thailand :)

On Tuesday we had the biggest snow in Kazakhstan that we've had in YEARS!!! 30 cm of snow! On just in case you forgot, last Tuesday was March 15!!!! The MIDDLE OF MARCH!!!!! and we get the biggest snow ever! That was my last straw.....i enjoy snow until about January, then i'm tired of it! So I was looking all the more forward to Friday where I would board a plane and come to THAILAND!!!!

I arrived without any mishaps, the plane even landed early! Dad came and got me at the airport, since they were all already here. The past two days have been full of sleep and sunshine. I've gotten a massage daily, we've worked out in the fitness center, eaten some great food, we've laid out by the pool after having a nice big breakfast buffet, i am even glad to say that i am a little sun burned!!!!

I am very thankful to be here!!!! I really needed this break! I'm already dreading having to go back to KZ. but, I will not think about that for now, just going to enjoy the 5 more days I have here:)!!!

(Oh! and in VERY EXCITING news, one of my college roommates, Laura, just got engaged!!!!! I'm so excited for Brett and Lou Lou!!!! )

Freezing in February

In the past week there was a drastic drop in temperature.....yesterday morning it was -17C in the morning.....I'm hoping that with the approach of March, this will be the end of cold weather....i'm ready for SPRING....for WARMTH!!!!

So my recent days have been very busy. I'm assistant

coaching for a jr. high girls' basketball team at Tien Shan...which you know I absolutely LOVE! The girls are absolutely precious, and I'm getting to some bball as well:). Then, we have our IB visit this coming Friday. A guy is coming t

o check out our school and see if it qualifies for certification. I'm a little anxious about it...I've spent my entire year so far working at becoming a good "PYP teacher", but there are some other things that I have no control over that may keep us from getting the authorization....so we'll see...fingers crossed ;).

This past Friday we had our annual International Night for our school. Since we have 22 countries represented in our school it's a good thing to celebrate our internationalism :). We had a great time. Each country set up a table and brought traditional foods, then different groups did performances...and by the end everyone was doing a panjabi (Indian) dance :). I am indeed enjoying my time here! And while I have made a verbal commitment to stay another year, some recent events and upcoming events may change that....we'll see....I'm still praying and asking God for wisdom!

My Class- We have lots of nationalities represented- Korean, Turkish, American, Israeli, Kazakh, Russian, British, Indian, and Bangladeshi :).

Me, Aliya, and Aizhan....I'm sporting my Red-White- and Blue :)

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY to my baby sister!!!

Today my baby sister is 21 years old....wow! I wish I was able to be there with her to celebrate this fabulous day! But alas, I am many many many miles away. I have been thinking about her all day long! Remember all the funny things we've done throughout the years....choreographing dances, dramas, making videos, singing Celine Dion at the top of our lungs, quoting lines form movie after movie, getting nails done, dying hair, cutting hair, shopping, road trips....sigh....many wonderful things! I'm SO thankful for all the things we've gotten to do together! And i'm so excited for all the fun ones ahead!

I am so thankful for my baby sister. She is pretty much the best sister anyone could have ever asked for! I am so grateful that God gave AJ to me for a sister! Even with the arguments and spats....there is no one like my sister :) (a couple sister songs are coming to mind at the moment). Her passion and hunger for truth and more of Jesus is such an encouragement! There are not too many big sisters who look up to their little sister, but I do!

If I was there, I would give a toast to AJ in true Kazakh fashion....but a virtual toast will have to do....

so AJ, here's to another fabulous year of growth, passion and love. May you continue to grow more and more in the knowledge and love of God! May you continue to shine the light of God to everyone you encounter! Thank you for loving me and being an encouragement to me always! I love you baby sister....you're 21.....WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to this heart of mine.....

So...this year...the first weekend of every month, I'm taking a day to just meet with the Lord. A day to turn off the phone, disconnect the internet, and hide the school work. This month I spent a lot of time confessing sin and begging God to reveal the roots of my crap...never a "fun" thing to do, but so necessary. As you all know by now I love songs! I was praying and journaling this old song came to mind. I think I had originally heard it on the WOW 1999 CD :)....that makes me feel a little old....seeing as that was more than a decade ago. ANYWAY....this song is so beautiful, and great reminder that I can put locks on doors of my heart. Places I don't want Jesus coming into and messing with, areas of my life that I want control over...when in REALITY His plan is far more better than mine! I am so thankful that God doesn't ignore the hard work that comes with remodeling me:) He digs out all the garbage, paints the walls a new color, and opens the doors wide! Thank you, God, for changing my heart!

Welcome Home-Shaun Groves

Take, me, make me

All You want me to be

That's all I'm asking, all I'm asking

Welcome to this heart of mine

I've buried under prideful vines

Grown to hide the mess I've made

Inside of me Come decorate, Lord

Open up the creaking door

And walk upon the dusty floor

Scrape away the guilty stains

Until no sin or shame remain

Spread Your love upon the walls

And occupy the empty halls

Until the man I am has faded

No more doors are barricaded

Chorus:

Come inside this heart of mine

It's not my own

Make it home

Come and take this heart and make it

All Your own

Welcome home

Take a seat, pull up a chair

Forgive me for the disrepair

And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling

Gathered on my search for meaning

Every closet's filled with clutter

Messes yet to be discovered

I'm overwhelmed, I understand

I can't make this place all that You can

I took the space that You placed in me

Redecorated in shades of greed

And I made sure every door stayed locked

Every window blocked, and still You knocked

Take me, make me

All You want me to be

That's all I'm asking, all I'm asking

I long for Thee....

A new year has begun, a new semester has started, and new goals are set :). I'm really excited about what God is going to be doing in my life this year. I am expectantly looking forward to drawing nearer and nearer to Him. Even in the midst of suffering, sorrow and struggle, I am fully confident that He will draw near to me as I draw near to Him. I'm having to make a few shifts in the order of my priorities, they were a little off this past semester...and yet, God is so gracious to continue loving me unconditionally, and drawing me deeper into a relationship with Him! WOW....what an amazing God we serve. In light of longing to be closer to Jesus, God gave me this song, that has been on my playlist for years, but it never stuck out to me until now. It is a beautiful song, and sings the song of my heart right now :). It is an old hymn, so beautiful.

"Jesus, I long for thee,
And sigh for Cannan's shore,
Thy lovely face to see,
and all my warfare o'er;
Here billows break upon my breast
And brooding sorrows steal my rest."

"I pant, I groan, I greive
For my untowrd heart;
How full doubts I live,
Though full of grace thou art!
What poor returns, I make to thee
For all the mercy shown to me."

"And must I ever smart
A child of sorrows here?
Yet, Lord be near my heart,
To soothe each rising tear;
Then at thy bleeding cross I'll Stay,
And sweetly weep my life away."